Good afternoon to you all. I just wanted to share some thoughts on a recent experience that I had with my son.
I have read and heard many stories about autistic children showing signs of aggression towards others. Now, others didn’t just include strangers, but it also included family members- those the closets to them. These behaviors consisted of kicking, hitting, pushing, and even biting. All of which I hoped that my two little ones would never display. . . . . . . . until now.
With the weather being so nice and school being out, well not for my kids because their school is year-round, I try to make sure that they get to experience outdoor activities at home and not just at their school. I take them to the park and let them run around, which is good for kids their age.
However, this trip was different. I try to arrive at the park as early as possible for two reasons. One, my kids do not like large amounts of people and two, the weather is not as hot in the morning. Thinking everything was going to go “okay” during this outing, I started to notice some things.
Normally, my daughter enjoys every bit of the playground and what it has to offer and because it was fenced it, she was able to “be free” to a certain extent. There were no concerns with her at this time. My son likes to swing or explore the playground. Now, his exploring includes walking around the playground without playing on it. He may swing, but that will be the only activity he indulges in.
This example includes my son exploring. Normally, if he notices more kids he will go opposite direction. However, this time he went in their direction and they just happened to be going up the stairs for the slide. As I am following, he notices that I am behind him and he runs. I run after him. There is a young girl sitting at the top of the slide waiting to go down. Before she could even sit properly, he pushes her. No one was injured, but she did look confused.
The second example, which resulted in us leaving, involves pushing. My son was eyeing the few other kids that were at the park that day. He would run about, but he would always look to make sure he knew where the other kids were located. I didn’t think too much of it until he ran up to a young boy and pushed him to the ground. The boy did nothing but look shocked. My son ran off and I helped the young boy up and apologized to him. Out of nowhere, my son comes and pushed him again, but this time he doesn’t run. He stood there. At that moment, I turned to my son and he saw my face and he ran. As he is still running, he is looking in my direction, but not at me. He was looking at the young boy. The young boy was still not crying and that’s what my son was looking for. He was looking for a reaction from him and he did not get it. Because of that, he tried to come around for a third time, but I caught him.
Thinking back over the last week or so, I have noticed that he showed aggression towards his sister to get a reaction out of her, which he would get. This is what he is doing to any kid that crosses paths with him. He will mess with them to get that same reaction his sister gave him.
He’s been doing the exact same thing at school and it’s to any kid. There is no biting or kicking or hitting. It’s just pushing, and he only does it to other kids.
Thinking about this has made me very emotional. I don’t cry too often, but this made me cry. For one, I have never seen him act this way before. Secondly, I don’t know if this is a phase or something that he will carry on with him as he gets older. Now, I cannot take him to places where there are a lot of kids because they are a “target” for him. Ultimately, this is unfortunate for my daughter because if he cannot do something, then she cannot either.
Now, the fun begins. . . . .